For The Love of a woman’s strength. :)
For the Love of Sanity
When I’m faced with a serious illness that gets in the way of plans I had or prevents me from dancing and working out, I get frustrated. Phrases like “Why me?” and “Haven’t I been through enough?” are replayed in my head. They haunt me along with feelings guilt and depression. They spring up on me in a moments where I’m alone. They play as if they were on a loop.
At this point there are tears, nausea and raw sadness. Being ill, hospitals, doctors, paper gowns, anything medicine related I absolutely hate. Knowing I have to go through all of that gets me in a state of angst! This uncontrollable angst that pushes the perfect button that I’m sure one day will bring me to the point of breaking things.
All of that depression continues to build, and build, and build. And then suddenly I have a thought unlike the rest. I think to myself “Well, better I than a 6 year old in Africa who’s biggest worry is how you feed his younger siblings tonight”
Then like a wave building then crashing and washing away the first layer of sand on the beach, the anxiety that just drove me crazy, releases. Remembering that there are those less fortunate me, really puts things into perspective and keeps me sane.
My pathetic episode diminishes and becomes ten minutes of pure, uninterrupted gratitude. I’m finally sane and can continue with my day in a healthy mind set. I appreciate my sanity so much because even with my illnesses if it weren’t for my sanity to relieve me of my depression set backs I probably would have gone postal by now.
One time for sanity.
